Birthday Commentary

Oh it has been so very long.

I'm going to try to make this quick; although, quick doesn't have the same definition for me as it does for most everyone else.

Today was my birthday. It was a wonderful day. One of my favorite birthdays I must say. I thought this birthday would come and go and not really be paid attention to as we are working on two graduation parties, finishing two scrapbooks, celebrating Sarah's birthday and scouring the house in preparation for the entourage of 75 people who are coming over on Friday.

I spent the night at Mom and Dad's last night. I woke up earlier than I had expected due to my stuffy nose as a result of the fearsome scrapbooking cold but this was good. Mom made Grace, Sarah and me pancakes for breakfast. She also had me order a pink Benchmade pocket knife for my Daddy birthday gift. :) Then I got to scrapbooking again. I wrote Em's blessing for her book and this concluded my responsibilities for the scrapbook. I couldn't have been more pleased with how it turned out and that I am DONE with it! I then made Dutch almond bars and shortbread for the party on Friday. I still need to make cheesecake, salsa, guacomole, rye bread, peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, and maybe the list goes on, maybe it doesn't. After that, Em and I went out to Flying Star for a birthday/good bye celebration with all my friends. It was good to see everyone. It's hard to mesh friend groups though. Attempting to do such things always makes me feel insufficient because I can't give every group my attention even though I invited them all. Em and I went shopping for shorts for this summer. Now, I'm blogging.

A few points of interest:

I was able to serve on my birthday. In previous years, I have always insisted that I do exactly what I want to do on my birthday. Mom often neglects to ask me to do things in such circumstances because often my willingness is very much impaired and the answer is a solid no. First off, the Lord has grown me in this last year so that my desire is to serve but also He has made me more willing to consider and submit to other's desires and needs. Oh how obvious growth in my life is such an encouragement. God is so good.

Also, when I don't expect gifts they are that much more special. AlMom surprised me by telling me to order my knife this morning. I had no idea that I would get a Daddy gift this year (Daddy gift: A second gift from my parents because the 3 stepsisters get gifts from their mother and we get the "daddy gift" because Dad died, kind of in honor of him, also our parents way of making things more fair). Hannah also got me a gift and that was SO EXCITING. I always feel bad when people get me gifts (I have a hard time allowing others to serve me) but what a joy it is to recieve when it is unexpected.

Also aside from my birthday commentary, I am praying for compassion in my attitude and in my life. Oftentimes, I can be bold and carry truth but it isn't laced with compassion. My sister is a wonderful example of lacing boldness and truth with compassion. I am a poor example. Lord, grow me so that I may exhibit compassion toward my fellow brother and sister knowing that I am a sinner just as they are. Oh how it goes back to pride--that pride. The Lord is working on it again with me.

I leave in 5 days for Worldview Academy. I am getting more and more excited. Nervousness is still present but my realizing that that nervousness is rooted in sin is causing me to submit it to the Lord and trust Him. I'm nervous because I am worried about what my teammates will think of me: fear of man. As long as I am seeking to live a holy life before my King, what does it matter what others think (this is not an excuse to not heed rebuke, correction, instruction, etc). Also I realized I am nervous because I really am just as new as my campers. I don't know (at this point--thank you Lord for staff training and the bit of preparation it will bring) any more than they do. This puts me in a place of asking A LOT of questions. Oh, what a strike to my pride. So, nervousness is rooted in ugly sin and thus is purposeless. Lord thank you for causing me to realize my sin and shortcomings. May I trust You with how I will be stretched and grown this summer. You are always good--through every trial and tribulation, through every period of rejoicing and good day that I experience--You are always good.