I laugh a lot. I'm not sure if that's a good thing. I laughed when we had the fire this morning. I laughed when we had the fire at Tonya's. I laugh when people talk to me. I have no idea why I laugh so much. Sad story. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I laugh when I shouldn't laugh. I was pondering this today and I have not decided if this is horrible or good. On one side of things, I take life lightly. I can find a humor in most things. I can the irony in most situations but on the other hand, I definitely could easily offend people by laughing all the time and I laugh too much thus it could easily annoy other people. Ugh. Also my laugh is so ridiculously loud and sometimes I snort. Oh my, I need to stop laughing. I laugh when I 'm nervous too. Sad story. Sad story.
Life is so stressful. Tonight was our last Ronald McDonald. Last one. It makes me super sad. I've been anticipating this day for awhile-looking forward to when I'm not collecting money from everyone and telling them to be quieter. But I really think I'm going to miss it like really bad. I don't like change and this is a big change. I think I'll be really sad next Monday...the day I move out. Ever since Daddy died, I haven't been able to handle change real well. Its real sad. I don't like change. Well, I must go I have homework up the wazoo!!
The spring wind is blowing outside as to be expected. It reminds me though that daily my life could be tossed this way or that - that where I'm planning on going now could be completely diminished in an instant by one little twist in the path that God had orchestrated from before the beginning of time. The reality 0f this leaves me far from being in control of my own life and only clinging to God in trust that everything will work out for His most deserved glory in the situation at hand and in my life in general. And on a second note, it reminds me that the measly little plans I have for my life compare nothing to His greatness and His plans for this world. He is indeed the Creator of all things - of all intellect, of all IQ numbers, of all brilliance. Have you read any bit of the Bible? It is so indelibly perfect. It fits perfectly together - every prophesy fulfilled. Every promise kept. Every word spoken is truth. Of course it is, it's the Word of our precious Lord and anything coming from His mouth could not be anything but perfect, loving and true. For God is love.
Oh, my, long day! First I got teased because I apparently don't "know" how to "cuddle" properly. First of all, I don't cuddle with those whom I am not seriously dating, I don't cuddle like that with a girl and I don't cuddle at the lunch table. Weird! I further am annoyed because I seem to get teased because of my purity. I've never kissed anyone and am not planning on it until I find my one and only husband. I also haven't properly cuddled with anyone - whatever one might say no one can come out of that unattached or without emotions or hormones flying. I don't want to be able to compare how my husband holds me to the way anyone else holds me. My husband is the only man that I want to actually know. I want to know only the way he holds me and only the way he kisses me and only the way he has sex with me (sorry for the crude material if you feel that way but it is a real part of life). I don't want to sit on the couch after he kisses me having all these thoughts rush to my head about how boyfriend #1 kissed compared to boyfriend #2 compared to boyfriend #3 and so on and so forth and then compare them all to my husband. Not comparing would take a ridiculous amount of self control that I'm not sure I possess but why worry about it because I won't have to worry about comparing him to anyone because he'll be my one and only.
I do wonder if this is how it will be in the next four or five years between me and him....
Got a picture of you I carry in my heart Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark Got a memory of you I carry in my soul I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold
If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind Not a day goes by that I don't think of you After all this time you're still with me it's true Somehow you remain locked so deep inside Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by
I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark Wishin' you were next to me, with your head against my heart
If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind Not a day goes by that I don't think of you After all this time you're still with me it's true Somehow you remain locked so deep inside Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by
Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you After all this time you're still with me it's true Somehow you remain locked so deep inside Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by
At least that's how it is now...maybe it'll go away...at least I hope it does.
One more thing I forgot to add - my parents are working on redoing the kitchen right now and I have officially decided I must marry someone who would enjoy flipping houses for the first few years of our marriage. I think that would be such a marriage builder and I would so love it. I can't wait to be a wife.
I'm a girl who specializes in awkward conversations and falling no matter the circumstance. I am a student, a scrapbooker, a rookie photographer, an optimist, a dreamer, a worrier. I hope to own a pair of overalls someday, be married, have children, grow a garden and learn to let things go. I love the Lord and my church family and may His glory be my utmost priority in everything. I am able to love because He first loved me. May that be obvious to this world as I preach His Name.