Heading Out

Tomorrow, I am headed to Colorado with nineteen other students for the Laborers' Conference. I am excited to see my team from this past summer and catch up with them. I also am excited for the road trip. Woot-woot! I love road trips. They are so fun because it allows for you to see so many different aspects of a person. Who sleeps? Who talks and likes getting into deep, involved conversation? Who is a reader? Who is a homework-doer? What do people eat? Who watches movies? So fun. Its a great way to get to know another person. I tend to sleep, read, and talk on road trips. Sleep mostly. I prefer fruit on road trips. Peanut M&M's if I am falling asleep and need some sugar in my system. I'll probably get a chai tomorrow.

Some things I need to do before tomorrow morning:

• Go to Wal-Mart [Need fruit, gum, and a toiletry bag (My last one had shampoo all over it and it was more beneficial to throw it away versus cleaning it for hours)]
• Fill out applications for the summer
• PACK
• SLEEP
• Run tomorrow morning

At that, I'm gonna get to going because I've got to get on this. Love road trips, looking forward to tomorrow.

My Brain

My brain works...did you know that?

And I am ever thankful for this. My God has blessed me abundantly.

I take advantage of the fact that I don't have to try real hard at school too much though.

Can I please be rid of my procrastination?

Please. Please. Please.

Lord grow me in a desire to serve You by getting my homework, no matter how small or big, done in a timely manner. A manner that eliminates stress and worry because neither of those are from you. Lord grow me. Lord make me like Your Son that I might serve you with all of my being. That I would delight in who You are and who You see me as because of Your Son's covering of my sins. Thank you for being my Father. I'm sorry I have ever doubted your providing for my needs.

Run Away?

Right now, I just want to drive somewhere and not stop. I don't want to have a sign test tomorrow. I don't want to have a psychology test tomorrow, and one due online tonight. I don't want to have two applications for the summer due this week nor a case study in bio due on Monday. I...well...am complaining.

I think a run will help. A good long run sounds so pleasant right now. Although, what is the temperature outside? I don't want to run in my sweat pants.

These are the times that I'm really looking forward to graduate school, when I'll have the opportunity to leave and start over.

Although I must remember: running away from responsibilities, struggles, decisions does NOT help anything. They will follow. They will need to be dealt with. It is not right of me to run from them.

We are commanded to run from temptation and sin not from struggles or situations that the Lord is good to put us in. I am here right now because the Lord is sovereign and chose for me to face the things I am facing. I will take comfort in that and trust in that because my God is good to me.

Seven Out of Twelve

Well. I got seven of the twelve points available on my trigonometry exam. That's kind of hard to stomach especially since this was supposed to be my easy class this semester.

As much as I don't want to be upset right now, I kind of am. I'm really disappointed with myself. I should have done better. I am capable of doing better

How did I do so poorly?

• 1 point missed for a missing negative sign
• 2 points missed for not knowing what the depression angle was
• 1 point missed for not getting the period right
• 1 point missed for not labeling my point of inflection in my graph of the tangent
  

Ugh. Three of those points could have been avoided with more studying and two of those points would have been avoided if I was more careful. Well, may this be a lesson learned.

On the bright side, I got a 95% on my Calc 2 Test. I guess I can be happy about that.

I will work harder in the future. I will remain on top. I will get an A in all of my classes this semester. It is possible. It will happen.

Just Another Day

I have been rather contemplative lately. I wonder why. Maybe its because everything has settled down just a little bit so I have more time to devote to thinking on different things.

Just another day....THAT THE LORD HAS MADE! I walk around a lot thinking, "Here we go again, another day of business, sinning, work, homework, stress, etc." Why would I do that? My God sent His Son to this earth to die for my sins. I am His daughter. He is my King. He is my Lord. He is my Redeemer. I have been set free from sin and death and am now graciously bound to the One who seeks me above all others and yet I can still walk around most days mopey about life because its just too busy. Oh boo hoo! My God is bigger than today; He's bigger than my life. He's bigger than UNM who tries to shove evolutionary doctrine down our throats. He is bigger than the QSA people who meet across the hall from the Navigators.

My God is big and He is rightly to be praised. My my heart, mind and soul remember this today. For it is not just another day....it is one that my God has made for me to live for Him. How blessed I am to be allowed to see these things. Oh my God is good to me.

Dating

What is it with all the dating lately? Goodness me! Everyone seems to be finding a guy/gal. I try very hard not to push my dating beliefs on anyone who announces to me their latest plan of action in their romantic life but if you know me, you probably know how I feel about dating. Maybe I'll post something about that later. We'll see. Golly gee whiz, it seems like everyone is dating someone, there must be something about springtime!

Can I ask someone to make it stop? Please stop dating. Please.

For some weird reason, I don't feel like that plea will be answered in the way I want it to be answered.

I'll still express my beliefs on dating and exhort my brothers and sisters to search Scripture on the topic but when it comes down to it....I can not make it stop. That is in the Lord's hands.

On the other hand, all the dating is nice for one reason. It is a selfish reason at that but when no one was dating or moving toward dating, we [the entirety of everybody] was hanging out all the time. Now that people are moving in the dating direction, they tend to spend Friday nights out together which gives me more time to do homework. This is the only reason this is a good thing.

Wedding Bells Are Ringing!

Rachel and Brandon are getting married at the end of March. I have had the opportunity to make the groom's cake for the wedding and the possibility of my constructing the normal wedding cake is still up in the air. I haven't made a cake in so long and I am truly looking forward to his opportunity. You can't just make cakes to make them because they never get eaten!

I love weddings. I love the dress and the ceremony and all the special touches that each bride and groom choose to put into to. It is a beautiful joining of two to become one. Oh I long for the day when I will be the bride in such a ceremony. Although, there is much growth that I must see in my life before even entering into a courting relationship.

Every once in awhile, I think about what my wedding will be like. I used to think about this A LOT! I had every detail planned and ready to go. If you read my blogs from years ago, I wrote as if I was getting married the next day. This was insanely ridiculous because at the age of sixteen, eighteen, and even now, I am so far from being ready to get married. The Lord has grown in me some contentment towards the whole situation by His grace. He is so good to me. Although, I do not cultivate or submit to this contentment as much as I should. Anyway that leads me to what I was going to write about...

I had Texas chili and cornbread for breakfast. I think a casual country wedding would be so fun. (Disclaimer: I like thinking about weddings. This is just a fun idea. I'm an events kinda gal and thus like to plan what to do for what. This is just one of my events.) I would have it in my parents' backyard or in a field of some sort. I would have guests sit on bails of hay with quilts covering them. I would be wearing a casual dress (most likely with pockets). Maybe even some cowboy boots. We'd have square dancing and line dancing later under the stars. There would be lanterns everywhere with little candles. We could have Texas chili and cornbread. The day would be so relaxed and comfortable. Slow. A hoe-down wedding.

Great Day

Today was a great day. I had a really rough day yesterday and honestly to just keep going, I needed a great day. Side note: We should always see our days as great because of the gospel. I pray that the Lord grows me in this because oftentimes the status of my day is based on the productivity, emotions and encouragement involved in it.

I had an amazing quiet time this morning. The Lord is so good to give me a fervor for His Word again. Oh what a blessing to not have to fight as hard to get myself out of bed in the morning.

I then got help with all my calculus that I have a test over on Thursday. I understand more now. I still need to study but what a relief to understand more.

Then I had the opportunity to meet with my sign language buddy face to face. This was so helpful. Its sometimes hard to read her signs on skype because they aren't super clear so this was fun. Lord-willing, my life lived before her is shining His light and I pray for an opportunity to share the Gospel with her. Maybe in sign.

I then had class. I didn't fall asleep in Psychology. YAY. That means I got a decent amount of sleep last night. What a blessing. Sign language was good too. I enjoy that class as challenging as it may be.

Then I went running. Oh my! Oh how it felt good. I don't think I realized how out of shape I was but I ran the whole time. So fun. My knees are bothering me now. I need to icy hot and wrap them. Blisters on my feet too, one on each arch, each an inch long. All worth it.

Then I went to Wal-greens for some deodorant because I didn't put any in my sports bag. Problem solved now. I have one for inside and one for outside.

Then on my way to trig, I found Ben from church. We exchanged which class we were going to/coming from and he said "oh well than you could probably help me." For sure. I LOVE MATH! I love helping people with it too. What a blessing to be able to help a brother in Christ. I'll go over to their house on Sunday afternoon.

Trig was good. My teacher is crazy. Sometimes I think he might be on drugs because of the way he acts and then I realize he's just that enthusiastic! He definitely keeps everyone awake.

Now I'm here. Blogging. Blessings, blessings, blessings.

My God is good to me on these days. My God is good to me on the bad days. I find myself in mud and slowly but surely He pulls me out only giving me that which I can handle at the time. He grows me in the tough days and I pray that my heart realizes this and is thankful for it on the easy days. My God is good. He is the great I Am. He has saved me, chosen me, separated me for the gospel. Oh how good is my God!

Crash.

I feel like well actually I don't know what I feel like right now.

I thought I was ready to write and process but maybe not. I don't think I even understand what is going through my mind right now. Things just keep stacking on top of each other. One on top of the other like blocks in Jenga with only one or two in each of the bottom rows. There are definitely some sides missing, not just centers. I don't think I can properly write right now. I really need to push emotions and circumstances aside and finish homework so that I can process.

I feel like things are crashing down. In the present this seems purposeless and annoying but in the end I know the Lord is using it for growth.

Cramps

Dear Cramps,

I am thankful for what you mean and symbolize. The Lord is good to make our bodies in such a way. I thank my God daily that I am a woman and I have the opportunity to bear children, Lord-willing. Despite the joy that comes with you, please go away. Your familiar tug on my lower back is not comfortable. Please come back when I have access to a heating pad and do not have calculus homework. You are welcome any time that I have measures to make myself more comfortable. Just not now. Please go away.

Yours Truly,

Lauren