Sadness of Sad

Life is so stressful. Tonight was our last Ronald McDonald. Last one. It makes me super sad. I've been anticipating this day for awhile-looking forward to when I'm not collecting money from everyone and telling them to be quieter. But I really think I'm going to miss it like really bad. I don't like change and this is a big change. I think I'll be really sad next Monday...the day I move out. Ever since Daddy died, I haven't been able to handle change real well. Its real sad. I don't like change. Well, I must go I have homework up the wazoo!!

The Spring Wind

The spring wind is blowing outside as to be expected. It reminds me though that daily my life could be tossed this way or that - that where I'm planning on going now could be completely diminished in an instant by one little twist in the path that God had orchestrated from before the beginning of time. The reality 0f this leaves me far from being in control of my own life and only clinging to God in trust that everything will work out for His most deserved glory in the situation at hand and in my life in general. And on a second note, it reminds me that the measly little plans I have for my life compare nothing to His greatness and His plans for this world. He is indeed the Creator of all things - of all intellect, of all IQ numbers, of all brilliance. Have you read any bit of the Bible? It is so indelibly perfect. It fits perfectly together - every prophesy fulfilled. Every promise kept. Every word spoken is truth. Of course it is, it's the Word of our precious Lord and anything coming from His mouth could not be anything but perfect, loving and true. For God is love.

My One and Only

Oh, my, long day! First I got teased because I apparently don't "know" how to "cuddle" properly. First of all, I don't cuddle with those whom I am not seriously dating, I don't cuddle like that with a girl and I don't cuddle at the lunch table. Weird! I further am annoyed because I seem to get teased because of my purity. I've never kissed anyone and am not planning on it until I find my one and only husband. I also haven't properly cuddled with anyone - whatever one might say no one can come out of that unattached or without emotions or hormones flying. I don't want to be able to compare how my husband holds me to the way anyone else holds me. My husband is the only man that I want to actually know. I want to know only the way he holds me and only the way he kisses me and only the way he has sex with me (sorry for the crude material if you feel that way but it is a real part of life). I don't want to sit on the couch after he kisses me having all these thoughts rush to my head about how boyfriend #1 kissed compared to boyfriend #2 compared to boyfriend #3 and so on and so forth and then compare them all to my husband. Not comparing would take a ridiculous amount of self control that I'm not sure I possess but why worry about it because I won't have to worry about comparing him to anyone because he'll be my one and only.