Sulky

Yes I wrote about half an hour ago. Yes I am writing again.

Right now is such a time of growth, hardship, excitement, joy, frustration, delight, realization. The Lord is teaching and growing me in so many ways thus explains much of the constant writing lately. Add this to my quiet time journal and it probably looks like I'm not doing anything but writing.

My car is in the shop. It is very broken. Something (I have no idea what) was fixed for $355.80. This fixed the first check engine light. There was a second check engine light having to do with a misfire in cylinder 2. Apparently it was not the spark plugs, nor the coil. There is low compression (?) in the cylinder. They don't know what to do to fix it. I am WORRIED with how much it is going to cost me.

Mario (my service clerk at Quality GMC--where my car is being fixed) called earlier today and said "Oh, its the spark plugs! We'll fix it. You'll probably have it back today." I was so excited! I rejoiced for the moment that my God saved me again. He pulled me out of the miry pit of despair (and expensive car problems). Then I got the call that it was not the spark plugs and it was something else. My heart sunk. My first reaction was questioning God and His goodness.

By God's grace, this did not last long. He snapped me out of my very enjoyable pity party pretty quickly graciously revealing my gross sin to me. I realized that so often I praise Him openly when things are good, when I've been saved, when He did something in my life miraculous. Well, He revealed this to me. He caused me to remember my salvation and His unending grace towards me. He is faithful even when I am so faithless. So the question remains how could I ever respond to circumstances instead of the unchanging grace and salvation of my God? Well, because I'm sinful. Despite the fact that my car is very broken, my God is still good. My God is still steadfast. My God is still sovereign.

I didn't have my quiet time this morning. I'm pretty sure this has been very influential in that I am not relying on my Lord in my daily interactions. I have walked around for the last hour sulking about my car and yet, I know the God of the universe. Yet, I know that He created me. Yes, and I sulk. No more. To His word I go for it is my Living Water. He is my sustenance. To Him I will go.