Mulling Over in My Mind

So I shouldn't be writing right now. I should be doing something productive; primarily this productiveness should be portrayed in writing my paper, if not in that what about cleaning the kitchen so that Mom has a clean kitchen to come home to? Or what about the rest of all my homework?

This past weekend I went with the Navigators to Journey '09. Such a renewed sense of purpose! God really impressed upon my heart that I haven't been seeking Him, that I've been seeking other things and people far above Him. I feel like priorities are back in order although it takes so much work. It takes perseverance and I need to go for it. Seeking my Lord is worth it! I'm excited for the adventure! Alright, I'm convicted, I'm gonna get started on my paper.

Change Me

Lord make me gentle and not sassy. Cause me to love my brothers and sisters by being one who is quiet and measured, self-controlled and loving, and secretly kind. Make me to love the way Your Son loved on this earth. Make me a Proverbs 31 woman that I might serve my husband as he will serve me.

God Will Provide.

I feel like my mind goes through boys rather quickly...I tend to have a few that I "like" at one time. That's something that I would love for the Lord to work on me with so that my mind might be even saved for my dear husband. Oh do I long for the day when his love for me will be declared. Why do I like certain guys and not others? This is something that I have examined for a while and I think I shall spend some time writing about it.

What do I find attractive within a man?

• I think number 1 would be a deep and abiding love for our Lord Jesus Christ. Something that I find so much joy in watching is a man live out his life before the Lord, walking blameless before our God. I think something that accompanies this is a pursuing of holiness. He must desire that the Lord change him and continually be working within him. I also love seeing someone who can rightly divide the Word, understanding it well and being able to explain things to me and discuss things with me.
• Number 2 would have to be his interest in me. Granted this is because I'm selfish but I love it when a man asks me questions and remembers what we discussed and can reference it later because he was truly listening. I don't have to be the leader in the conversation but he makes a point to ask "how was your day?" before I can get there. I love when someone is interested in what I have to say. Also, what goes along with this is that he makes a conscious effort not to interrupt when I'm speaking because he truly cares what I have to say.
• I also desire that he be a strong leader. He isn't afraid of confrontation nor dislikes conflict but appreciates it for the opportunity it provides to speak truth. He is a servant though too. Even though he is leading, his one desire is to find ways to wash feet. Oh, how attractive! Going along with the leader thing, I really want to marry a first child. They're leadership abilities are built in and because I was a first child, that's just really important to me.
• I desire that my husband is selfless in many ways in that he isn't too busy with work to spend time with people. That his time is worth more invested in people than in money. And his time is spread out. He doesn't spend every waking moment with one person but disperses his time knowing as a brother he can encourage his siblings in Christ.
• I desire that he is a MAN! In that he appreciates manly things: (any combination of the following is acceptable) camping/hiking/backpacking, exercising, cars, guns, hunting, sports, cooking under certain conditions, grilling, lawn care, taking out trash, fixing things. Ah, I love men so much for this reason. I love it that they are so different from women in this that they love to fix things and figure things out---WONDERFUL!
• I desire that he desire children and that he loves playing with them but in a guy sort of way not in nurturing motherly woman sort of way. Oh, I can't wait to see my husband with our children! Beautiful!
• He is a spiritual leader in that he wants to pray and discuss Scripture with me and continually bring it up. He desires to guide me in that which is holy but with love not out of control.

God will be so good to provide. I love my husband already, may my mind and actions reveal such things.

Oh yeah, can my husband major in pre-med, pre-dental or engineering, please?

Contacts

I have contacts in my eyes right now. Yes, I can't get them out. But I think I like myself with contacts. I haven't decided yet. Hmmm....maybe I'll actually practice and get good at them and wear them because I think I'll like them as soon as I get used to my poor little face without glasses.

I was laying on the floor in fetal position crying because I could not remove these dumb contacts tonight. I'm pretty sure I'm not ready to be married. Hmmm....five years old is a better description than woman.

13 for 18

Yes 13 for 18. That means I ran thirteen laps (1/2 miles) around Johnson Field in 18 songs. I have been running two songs, walking one. Today was a GREAT run! Loved it! I'm getting back in shape. I was able to keep a continous pace, and a good one at that throughout the entire run with my walking breaks after every two songs. It felt so good to go running and it was the perfect temperature. Just cool enough that I wasn't hot when I truly started running but not cold enough that you get that sharp feeling in the back of the throat. Ah, to run is one of the biggest blessings the Lord has given me. My goal is to run five times a week--which if I run tomorrow, I will make my goal for this week. My week is Monday through Sunday so...yeah. Good stuff. I love to work out. Sometimes it's hard to be motivated. Anyway, 13 for 18.

Throw-up

Lots to do.
Paul Washer rocks.
Fervor for the Word is renewed.
Need to do math.
Listening.
Preparing heart.
Don't want to clean for Bible study.
Desiring the Lord.
Theresa.
Running in LL today.
Where to find Lord-seeking husband?
Lack of Bible time.
Read Bible.
Write support letters.
Stomach ache because of two popsicles.
Supposed to go to Hope.
Content.

Relief

Ah, RELIEF! The Reformation project is done. I am so very happy. That makes life so much easier. We finished class at three thirty today, I dropped off my thank you letter for my scholarship and came home and slept for about five and a half hours. I need to sleep more often. I have a lot to do before Wednesday but after that I should be flying free and clear. Updates shall follow.